If you guys saw my last "life" update, you know that I was experiencing a bit of frustration. My friends were disappearing, I was confused about what I wanted to do in life, and I was feeling so unaccomplished. But as always, with a wing an a prayer (and some kind words from one of my fellow bloggers ;-) I slowly began to bounce back. Getting myself out of the dumps about things meant understanding that everyone has setbacks. I myself was no stranger to unfulfilled plans and goals. But this is something that happens to any and everyone struggling to make a fabulous life for themselves.
Instead of dwelling on the things I have yet to accomplish, I started looking at the things I have committed to and completed. I also commended myself for actually creating a plan for myself and trying my hardest to find ways to make a better life for me and my family. I am also a good friend, daughter, sister, wife, mother, student, employee, and mentor. That in and of itself deserves a pat on the back.
Looking at the positives is something I should already be accustomed to, as my training in Solution-Focused Therapy suggests that positive self talk gets us back to our "happy place." However, advice we learn and know are not always easy to apply to our own lives. But when the light-bulb finally came on, I started re-evaluating my life and all the wonderful things about it.
I also started enjoying my own company. I had lunch by myself, got spa treatment by myself, and enjoyed a couple of quiet afternoons alone with some smooth neo-soul music. This helped me to see that I was spending too much time beating myself up, as opposed to nurturing myself and taking care of me-spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Now I'm back at it with working out and taking time to do a few self-care check-ins as often as I can.
Most importantly, I have come to realize that I have to let this ambition, passion, and driven spirit within me shine more. When I see other people accomplishing goals that I have yet to attain, I have a tendency to shrink like a flower, as if I am measuring my success by someone else's. I have to stop worrying about what others think about my progress and focus more on progressing in general. I can either allow negative comments from so-called friends and family members to knock me down, or allow them to see the "in it to win it" spirit within that has helped me to progress this far.
The words from one of my favorite songs "Shine" by Laura Izibor illustrates my emotions almost exactly. I decided not to let my life go to waste trying to measure up to people's expectations or to live life on autopilot, letting all the "good times" happen to other people. It's time that I let the light inside of me shine, not for others, but for me!
from the archives
May 2011
