They say Geminis have two sides and I truly believe that. While one side of me enjoys meeting new people and interacting with several people, the other side becomes paralyzed in fear at the thought of letting my guard down to interact. It's almost as if I'm afraid that one day people are going to see past the cool I pass off as confidence so I felt it was time that I share these words here on the blog. These are a few things my truly awkward and introverted self wants you to know about me, but I would have never shared with you outside of this blog post.
1. While I enjoy your company, our prolonged interactions often drain my energy. And I won't tell you because I like spending time with you and don't want to push you away.
2. I over-analyze everything I say and do (and sometimes things I didn't say or do), often beating myself up for it later.
3. I remain in a constant state of worry on the inside, but I'm often as cool as a fan on the outside. For fear of being seen as strange, I have mastered the art of masking my fear. This is an accomplishment that I was once quite proud of, as I've been working on it since high school.
4. My withdrawal is not about you, it's me. It's my coping mechanism for everything. If I'm dealing with something personal that deeply affects me, I withdraw. I will withdraw myself from social interactions and totally submerge myself into other things such as reading, writing, creating and all to avoid being around people. It's my way of sorting through "all the things" in my head. Interruptions during this time frustrate me. This means I can be irritable and moody around my family, but I think they've grown accustomed to my antics.
5. I am slowly learning to get out of my own head and be present. It is a process.
Do you have quirks you're afraid to share with your friends & fam?
Let's talk about them here in the comments, sis.
This is a judgment free zone.
photography by william stitt
