Self-Love Saturdays | 20 Ways to Love on Yourself This Weekend

Some Saturdays are more eventful than others. Some Saturdays are filled with loads of fun and social activity to stimulate us on all levels. These Saturdays fuel us, filling our proverbial cups with the warmth, love, comradery, and excitement we need to sustain us. Then there are other Saturdays. The Saturdays in which we'd rather be left to our own devices. The week has drained us and we find ourselves depleted mentally, emotionally, physically, and maybe even spiritually. Maybe that Saturday feels like today for you.

Perhaps this week has been a rough one for you. Disappointment has hit you like a ton of bricks one too many times. Almost feels like the last blow made all the hurt flow in, nearly drowning you emotionally. It is times like these when we have to dial up our self-care so that we are able to love on ourselves a little more.

What is self-care?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. The keyword here is "practice," meaning it's something we must continuously and consistently do for our overall health. That includes mentally, spiritually, physically, socially and emotionally. 

But what is self-love, then? 

Self-love is a positive regard for yourself and a way to treat yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would show someone close to you. In short, it's the positive attitude towards self you must embody in order to practice self-care in the best way.

This is why self-care and self-love go hand in hand.

So how do we apply these things realistically?

While I try to make a habit to practice a bit of self-love each week, I sometimes forget. Life gets in the way. Deadlines take precedence. Items on the social calendar become obligations. And more often than I'd like to admit, and I'm sure others can agree, I forget to add myself to my to-do list. 

So, if you've found yourself at the bottom of your to-do list more times than you'd like lately, this post is for you. It's easy to experience burnout before we realize we haven't been pouring into ourselves. But all is not lost. If you're looking for ways to practice self-care today or this weekend (and beyond), look no further.

Below is a list of 20 practical ways one can show themselves a bit of love and appreciation.

Recommended Reading | Da Baddest by Katrina Taylor

As a huge fan of Trina, diving head first into Trina's memoir, Da Baddest, was a non-negotiable. I've loved Trina since I heard her rap that feature on Trick Daddy's Nann in 1998, much to my mother's chagrin. In my early teens, I admired Trina's beauty, confidence, assertiveness, and style. And while I usually had to sneak to listen to so much of her music at the time, Trina left an indelible mark on my friends and I (Silver Dollars, Dime Status Dames, y'all remember?). And over the years, my love for the Diamond Princess has only grown in admiration. 

Recommended Reading | The Chronicles of DOOM by S. H. Fernando

 "The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."  -Albert Camus

The Chronicles of DOOM is one of the most well-written bios I've ever read. It has easily become a favorite rap biography for me. The author handles the man, the myth, and the legend that is MF DOOM with such admirable care & consideration.

Well-researched, The Chronicles of DOOM gives readers a course study in MF DOOM, complete with insider info from all who came to witness his musical genius. S.H. "Shiz" Fernando meticulously walks us through each project and collaboration of our time's most elusive rapper with such great detail. He shares his influences and inspirations, as well as his quirks and habits. While many of us fans know MF DOOM by his villain-like rap persona, The Chronicles of DOOM humanizes him in such a beautiful and absolute way.

For fans of MF DOOM and fans of the rap genre in general-- The Chronicles of DOOM is a must-read. Please add it to your reading list if you haven't already. Pull out your DOOM albums, queue up your playlists, and enjoy the ride that is this amazing book. It hit shelves this past Tuesday and is now available everywhere books are sold!

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Many thanks to Astra House, Netgalley, and the author for my digital + physical copies of The Chronicles of DOOM. Through you all, I was able to get an early glimpse of this GEM that further immortalizes one of my favorite rappers of all time. You are most appreciated 📚❤

WILL YOU BE ADDING THE CHRONICLES OF DOOM 

TO YOUR READING LIST?

15 Things I'm Looking Forward To This Fall

FALL IS FINALLY HERE! Are you as excited about the changing seasons as I am? While it hasn't completely cooled off here in North Carolina, remnants of summer are slowly slipping away. Leaves are falling from the trees and nature is beginning to show off her most cool and rustic hues. 

Seeing nature transform right under my feet reminds me of the things I love the most about fall--sweater weather, festivals, family gatherings, and all the cozy hobbies I enjoy at my leisure.  It is the one season I enjoy spending time in the cool outdoor temps and indoors wrapped up because of the cool temps. I can show up for the world around me by day and cozy up in my favorite blanket with my warm beverages and get lost in a good read by night. Honestly, what's not to love about the fall season? 

While updating upcoming posts about beauty, fashion, reading, music and upcoming events, I thought it would be cool to once again share a list of the things I'm most looking forward to this season. Read after the jump to check out the 15 things I'm most hype about.

Recommended Reading | All The Black Girls Are Activists by EbonyJanice Moore

 All The Black Girls Are Activists by EbonyJanice Moore is a MUST-READ! This book is necessary for black women looking to make change in today's social and political climate. We are not our grandmothers or even our mothers, but we are equipped with their tools and a new wave of feminism. Often, when we discuss creating change we look to the older generations for answers and leadership. This book reminds me that there are women my age out here in the trenches making waves NOW. When we speak of activism, today's journalists, with the likes of EbonyJanice, should be mentioned loudly!

Night Drive | A Mixtape

When is the last time you took a night drive with no destination in sight? Did you do so to clear your head? To relieve stress? Or just to get away from your current location or current state of mind?

No matter your reason for venturing away for a spell, adding music to the mix always enhances the experience of late-night driving without aim. It can be a form of distraction when you need to clear your mind. It can also be mood-altering if you're looking for a pick-me-up. Perhaps you're like me and the melodic tunes illuminate the settings all around you while traveling. In this case, curating the right songs can make the ride seem magical. Others can stimulate your senses in a way to keep you up and alert, anticipating your next stop. And some songs make you think of your special someone, especially if your night drive could eventually lead you to that person.

What would your night drive list sound like? The key to creating this particular playlist would be choosing songs that match your mood and your destination. If driving to clear your mind, you might want to create an experience that is the opposite of the stressful situations you are driving away from.

For the smooth tunes + r&b lovers like myself, here's the last night drive playlist I created a while back. I hope you enjoy!

QUEUE THE "Night Drive" PLAYLIST:  This is for those late nights when you wanna vibe while riding out for a few with no particular place to go.  Click the image above to open the playlist up in a new window.

   

Loving these Spotify playlists? Let me know in the comments if you want more here on the blog. And be sure to give me a follow if you're on Spotify, too. I love making mixtapes and sharing music with my good boos over there.

ARE YOU AN R&B MUSIC FAN?

WHAT'S ON YOUR "NIGHT DRIVE" PLAYLIST?

RECOMMENDED READING | The Secret Keeper of Main Street by Trisha R. Thomas

 If you haven't read The Secret Keeper of Main Street by Trisha R. Thomas yet, I implore you to grab it up ASAP. It's the perfect read to get wrapped up in this upcoming fall season. You say you're a fan of southern comfort and mystique? This one serves up a healthy helping of both!

Book Review | Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me?) by Jay Ellis

Reading Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? by Jay Ellis was such a treat! The moment I saw the cover adorned with references from my own coming-of-age (Dwayne Wayne, the pager, and the floppy-disk), I knew this book would be one I could relate to. 

Jay Ellis makes it known in the beginning of the book that it isn't a memoir. He even reminds us later in reading that he hasn't "lived enough" to consider this book a memoir. That has no bearing on how solid these childhood stories are. I was entertained from beginning to end, even scared a few times (especially during that melee at the movie theater). Ellis recounts stories of growing up with his imaginary friend, Mikey, so vividly, I pictured a precocious little boy running alongside him through every adventure shared. 

While readers won't find much about the onset of an acting career for Jay Ellis within these pages, we do see that his bright imagination was an inspiration from the start. Isn't that the stuff creatives are made of? I can remember claiming to have an imaginary friend through the early years of elementary school, but nothing as close and consistent as Mikey. Mikey went to pre-school with Jay, wreaking havoc. He moved across states with Jay, as he was a military kid who changed schools quite a bit. And he even caught the blame for many bad decisions Jay made throughout his younger years. With each essay, I looked forward to reading what Mikey would get Jay into next. 

Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? is an exciting gift for those of us who have found safe spaces in imaginary friends and/or wild imaginations. Jay's stories lure you in and keep you excited for "the good part," wondering how Mikey will show up and how much damage he will cause. Even as Mikey begins to fade away and Ellis gets older, we see how much of an affect an imaginary friend has had on Ellis.

Also, seeing that celebrities with a star as bright as Jay's still get anxious about sharing their work was affirming. We all feel that same vulnerability when sharing parts of ourselves that can easily be dismissed, ridiculed, or shamed. Jay Ellis, I am glad that you shared your "imaginary friend" story during the pandemic. It is the reason I was able to experience such a beautiful book that I won't soon forget. I hope you continue to write and share even more of your stories + creative works. 

Many thanks to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group for an eARC of Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? by Jay Ellis. All thoughts and opinions shared are my own.

4 Stars

Recommended Reading | The Unboxing of a Black Girl by Angela Shanté

Published Date: May 6, 2024

The Unboxing of a Black Girl by Angela Shanté is a beautiful, and sometimes heavy, account of a black girl's coming-of-age. The author delicately shares her life unfolding through her experiences, teachings from others, and her unique view of the world around her. 

Reading about how black girls get forced into boxes just by existing was an affirming experience. In many instances, I found myself relating to so much of what she shared. Some of the poems even felt as though she wrote them just for me. Those Alanis Morrisette and Fefe Dobson references were just too specific! Any young girl enjoying something perceived to be outside of her "culture" or "box" will know what I mean when they read this.

I was also captivated by the ways in which the author shed those proverbial boxes. Black girls are not a monolith, but society tends to see us as such. And though we are often forced to assimilate, with the threat of being overlooked or ostracized, we find our way out of those boxes. Angela Shanté illustrates this so gracefully with her words. 

Another thing that stood out to me in the reading was the footnotes accompanying the poems. If there is something the author speaks of that one is unfamiliar with, she went the extra mile to make readers familiar outside of the margins. That's not something I see a lot, but I did appreciate that. 

The Unboxing of a Black Girl by Angela Shanté is truly a gem. It's an ode to the black girls finding their way out of the boxes they've been placed in their whole lives. Many thanks to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for the opportunity to read this ARC.  

4.5 Stars

WILL YOU BE ADDING THE UNBOXING OF A BLACK GIRL TO YOUR READING LIST?

Recommended Reading | The Upcycled Self by Tariq "Black Thought" Trotter

"From one of our generation’s most powerful artists and incisive storytellers comes a brilliantly crafted work about the art—and war—of becoming who we are."

Publish Date: November 14, 2023

As a hip-hop fan and avid listener of The Roots, I was very excited to read The Upcycled Self by Tariq Trotter. While I had sifted through stories about the group from Questlove's books, I looked forward to reading personal accounts from Tariq Trotter. The Upcycled Self did not disappoint! 

I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know more about Trotter through the stories he told. I felt as though I was walking down the streets with him as his beautiful words painted pictures of Philadelphia. It was a treat getting to learn more about him through his descriptions of his loved ones and those he was most influenced by. And I appreciated the vulnerability he possessed when sharing early stories about "the fire," his mother, and parts of himself I'd never heard him speak candidly about before. 

The Upcycled Self was a treat for me as I know it will be for fans and others as well. The only thing I wished for was that the book was longer. I found myself wanting to know more about this brilliant man I've grown to adore through verse and style over the years.  

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Special thanks to Netgalley and Random House Publishing for the eBook! 

Will you be adding The Upcycled Self to your reading list? 

Recommended Reading | A Love Song for Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams

A Love Song for Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams is such a beautiful book to behold in both the month of love AND a leap year!

This book introduces us to unconventional Ricki Wilde, the youngest of 4 sisters, and the black sheep of the family. While the other three sisters follow the proverbial rules to a "T" and each contribute to running the family funeral business, Ricki longs to do her own thing. Doing her own thing leads this Georgia Peach to Harlem to open her own florist shop and bask in the rich history of the Harlem Renaissance.

AUTHOR Q&A | BRITTNEY MORRIS, AUTHOR OF THE JUMP

“All I ever wanted to do was escape into this magical world where for once I don’t have to act a certain way because I’m Black, and where I don’t have to answer certain questions because I’m the Black authority in the room, and where if I do something that’s not stereotypically Black, I’m different.” ― Brittney Morris, Slay

Representation matters: in the literature we read, the movies we watch, and even the video games we play. And I am grateful that in present times, our youth can see so much of themselves in the entertainment they consume. I am constantly in awe of authors who introduce us to characters and plots that we can so easily relate to. One author in particular, Brittney Morris, masterfully weaves together stories and characters that readers can FEEL. She consistently creates characters that stick with us long after the read is over.  

Today, I share an author Q&A with said esteemed author, Brittney Morris. Here, she discusses what inspires her stories, video-game writing, advice to aspiring authors, and briefly touches on the paperback release of The Jump. Read below to learn more about Brittney Morris.

INTRODUCTION TO BRITTNEY MORRIS

Brittney Morris is the bestselling author of SLAY, The Cost of Knowing, Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales - Wings of Fury, and The Jump. She also writes video games and has contributed to projects such as The Lost Legends of Redwall, Subnautica: Below Zero, Spider-Man 2 for PS5, and Wolverine for PS5. Brittney is an NAACP Image Award nominee, an ALA Black Caucus Youth Literary Award winner, and an Ignite Award Finalist. She has an economics degree from Boston University and spends her spare time reading, playing video games, and not doing enough yoga. 

Just to See You Smile | A Playlist

As many of you may know from reading here for a while: I am of the generation of making a "mixtape" for everything. And with so many music streaming services available at our fingertips, it's been easier than ever to make a playlist for any occasion. Add to that modern convenience, the fact that I'm a "make me a playlist so I know it's real" type of lady. Not only am I a person who loves for someone to send me music, I'm a person that loves sending music to others.

Sending music to friends, family, and others we share a closeness to, is a love language. Making the perfect playlist for those people is also a labor of love. It takes time, focus, and a bit of knowledge about the people we're sharing music with to make the perfect playlist for them. My goal for making someone a playlist is usually to put them on to music I feel they would enjoy, or simply to make them smile. I can't tell you how many times hearing a particular song has brightened my entire day. And since that is a feeling I love experiencing, it's one I love to extend to others. While it does take a bit of effort, seeing someone smile while enjoying their personalized playlist makes it worthwhile.

Looking at my latest posts, I realize it's been a while since I've posted a playlist for you guys to enjoy. So, I decided today that I would share a playlist to make you smile. Yes, YOU. Hopefully the vibes from this particular playlist bring about some positive feelings, make you reminisce on something nostalgic, or simply make you smile with the knowledge that I made this just for you. 

QUEUE THE "Just To See You Smile" PLAYLIST:  This is one of those playlists created for no other reason but to evoke positive feelings. Perhaps there's a song listed that shows appreciation. Maybe there's another that makes you feel empowered. Hopefully a couple of them make you feel inspired. Either way, I hope it adds a bit of joy to your day. Click the image above to open the playlist up in a new window.

  

  

Loving these Spotify playlists? Let me know in the comments if you want more here on the blog. And be sure to give me a follow if you're on Spotify, too. I love making mixtapes and sharing music with my good boos over there.

WHAT SONGS DO YOU LISTEN TO THAT INSPIRE HAPPINESS, LOVE, OR JOY?

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